Mint and Lavender

There’s so much to say I can’t hold it in. It’s pouring out like water, like milk, like blood. Melting like ice. Dripping down from my eyes and my ears like wax.
My hands feel light, like bubbles are hiding under the skin.
The happiness is bleeding out of my forehead, out of my hair. I can feel the place where you touched my wrists. I can smell your scent still in the air. My thoughts are cold and warm and hot all at once. Do I have a fever? Maybe. Maybe it’s you, going on and on and on and on…..
I don’t want to brush my teeth because it would wash away you. I don’t want to move from here, move from where you were.
I’m cold.
It’s dark.
Where is the light, where are your eyes? Where is the beacon of your skin? All I can smell is lemons and the stale scent of nothingness, of myself in this space which is black because you are not in it.
Something stirred, in the corner.
Oh. It’s just my feet.
I am writing, writing, writing, as fast as I can get words out. We have the same heart, we have the same soul. Our blood beats in the same rhythm like the stampede of a hundred elephants. You lift me up and I know I will never fall. I know that if I fall I will fall with you and the helium in our lungs will hold us up together, caressed by the air.
You fill my soul with helium.
Every time I breathe out you breath me in. You breathe out liquid gold, purified in the chemicals of your soul, changed by the alchemy of our hearts.
Thump Thump Thump Thump.
Press my thumbs with your thumbs. Let us begin again.
I’m getting used to not speaking now.
I begin to digest and retain my thoughts, to prefer to put them down on white white paper instead of letting them hang like leaves and lead in the air.
I want to hold them in. I know that my thoughts are you, that dashing through the crevices of my mind and peering out my eyes is yourself. If I let them out will you go, too?
Will I forget about you? Maybe.
Never.
I will remember you with the scent of mint and the smell of lavender. I will remember you with the cold and the damp and the dark, and the softness of your eyes and the music that fell from your lips. I will remember you with your hands and your soul and your arms and your throat.
I will always keep these memories. Always.
I will stand and wait and feel you around me. I would rather have your arms around my waist and around my soul then I would have anything else, or everything.
I will never forget.